A Mother is God's Masterpiece

TODAY I pay tribute to Mothers everywhere.  Indeed they are one of God's best masterpieces.  My favorite literary piece about moms is Erma Bombeck's "When God Created Mothers".  It is a very moving conversation between God and an angel while God was working "overtime" in creating the mother. 

God tells his angel that the specs are unlike any other.  She can "run on black coffee and leftovers", has "a kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair.  She "has six pairs of hands", has "three pairs of eyes - one that sees through closed doors", "another in the back of her head ", and of course the ones in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say 'I understand and I love you' without so much as uttering a word."  She has to be "soft and yet tough", can "heal herself when she is sick", and "can reason and compromise". God said, " You can imagine what this mother can do or endure".

When the angel tells God to get some rest, God says, "I can't. I'm so close to creating something so close to myself."

Reading those words brings warmth to my heart because indeed, a Mother is God's masterpiece, and yes, I have seen all these qualities truly evident in mothers all around me.    So today I thank God for creating Mothers, especially my own.

It is with this same gratitude that Janice Villanueva, a truly amazing woman and mom (who I seriously suspect has super powers), has founded one of the most established community of moms in the country.  She brings us together through her well-attended events, her revolutionary products created especially for moms, and her other businesses that grew out of sheer passion for motherhood and the desire to help other mothers be super moms like herself.

Janice at the Expo Mom event in Bacolod

Janice with Glenn Garces, EDUCHILD Speaker and Kitkat Lobaton,
GATO VERDE Founder and Managing Director

My Brother in Law Marc Lopez and his son, Anton giving a
talk entitled "My 6-year old invests in the Stock Market"  

"You the Mom" Francine Uy with Janice

Kat, Yols, Dr. Ting and Janice

My Ella and I with Janice

My first encounter with Janice was 9 years ago when I had just delivered my now 9-year-old daughter, Ella.  Breastfeeding in public was not as common that time and so it was very difficult to find locally made nursing wear.  I found out about "Mommy Matters" from my mommy friends and I became a big fan because wearing those fashionable nursing blouses enabled me to breastfeed my baby just about anywhere, in style.  Although I had always wanted to personally thank her and commend her for her ingenious products, I never got the chance to meet her until today, 9 years later, at one of her events that has sprouted in other parts of the country, including Bacolod.

Talking to her was like talking to an old friend even if we had just met.  She is a simple, down to earth mom, who wants nothing but the best for her children, but as she pursued her passion for being the best mom she could ever be, she has inspired thousands of other moms, and now has become a very successful entrepreneur or "mompreneur".

Janice with her beautiful family
(Photo Credits: Stork Studio)

The theme for this year's Expo Mom campaign is "You the Mom", highlighting the greatness of all moms.  In her heart she believes that all moms are wonderful and beautiful and as she has given recognition and a good pat on the back to moms all over the Philippines, her work and her life should as well be very much celebrated.  With the long list of roles that she plays, Janice has been a great blessing to many moms and their families.  But what inspires me most is that above all these important roles that she plays, what comes first is being mom to her 3 children.   This woman indeed is God's masterpiece of a mom in the flesh.  Now it's our turn to say, Janice, You the Mom!  

(Published for Breathing Gratitude, Sun Star Lifestyle Section, September 4, 2014)

Check out Mommy Mundo's website to see Janice's wonderful projects and events for moms at  http://mommymundo.com/.  Read her personal blog at http://janicevillanueva.com/ and be very blessed.

Championing Respect

I was seated on my desk, working on my laptop while our School Principal and Academic Coordinator were also working on their desks, when little Kiana (not her real name) lugged behind her teacher who came in to our office to talk to me.

We all greeted her a cheery "Good Morning!" but she shook her head and refused to greet us back. Her teacher urged her to say a simple "Good Morning" but she continued to playfully decline our requests.

This situation could very easily be dismissed and say "that's just the way it is".  Some of us would even say "how cute!" But here, I saw a teachable moment. 

I stepped out of my desk, walked towards her and got on the floor to meet her eye level.  I held her hands and lovingly but firmly said "Kiana, we show respect by greeting our teachers back.  Could you kindly say Good Morning?"  She shook her head.

When I saw that she wasn't about ready to comply, I knew I needed some time alone with her.  I took her outside to a more private area where she and I could talk.  The struggle was coming from her being a playfully defiant child as I respectfully confronted her about her behavior.  I say "playfully defiant" because she can use her charm in a way that you would forget about her defiance!

So I talked to her about the importance of showing respect towards elders by greeting properly.  She said yes when I asked if she understood, but still, she wasn't ready to go in and greet the teachers.  I allowed her to take her time until she felt ready to do the right thing.  I knew it was difficult for her because she was struggling. 

No matter how defiant, children are capable of behavior
modificationwith the right guidance, training and a lot of love.
(Photo Credits: www.therapytoronto.ca)

 She whined and asked me to allow her to go back to her classroom but firmly, I said No, not until you have done the right thing.  So I waited for quite a while, until finally, she said she was ready.

She came in the office and said a very feeble "good morning" to each one of us, shaking each of our hands, as this is the common practice of greeting in school.  I then hugged and applauded her and told her how proud I was of her for showing respect and doing the right thing.

Many times we have very low expectations of our children.  We think that they are not capable of exhibiting certain character traits but with the right guidance and the patience in training them, we will be surprised to see them grow in character.

My friend, our Academic Coordinator happily reported to me days later that Kiana, without being told, came up to her along the hallway, hugged and greeted her.  She was so surprised and so impressed at the change in her demeanor.

I was also very pleasantly surprised yesterday, as Kiana confidently walked into our office with a big smile on her face.  She ran to me, hugged me and shook my hand, looked into my eyes and said "Good Morning Teacher!"

Right there, I knew that we had championed respect in this child.  I felt affirmed that this is what we are here for, to help children such as Kiana to grow not only in academic learning but most importantly in Godly character.

Self-regulated children are happy children
(Photo Credits: www.foothillsnetwork.ca)

(Published for Breathing Gratitude, Sun Star Lifestyle Section, August 14, 2014)

Thank you Lord for Yayas!

ALL of us were created by God for a specific purpose.  It is when we find that purpose and live it that we become a great blessing to the world. 

This is what I shared with the caregivers or yayas of the little ones in our school during our Yaya’s Day celebration.  We do this to honor them and in thanksgiving for the love and service of our yayas. 

They are the ones who usually go unnoticed and unrecognized in society.  But in every family, they play a major role as essentially they are our children’s second mothers.  In our society, many of our children are left to the care of the yayas.  In fact many of our households are entrusted to them too.  So it is only fitting that we offer them a tribute. 

During my short talk, I reminded them that they hold a big responsibility in shaping the future as they have a great influence in molding the character of the future generation.  This was to remind them never to say “yaya lang ako” (I’m just a yaya), because the role they play is very important.

No doubt these children one day will be the prime movers of society.  Who knows, one of them may even be the future President of the Philippines, I told them.  So the way we nurture and raise our children (of course, parents and teachers included) will greatly affect the world. 

I also reminded them that just like any other career or profession, it is important to do our jobs with EXCELLENCE, LOVE and JOY, because that is when we attain success.  When we do our work with excellence, love and joy, we BLESS the world and we CHANGE the world.  It is when we are making a difference that we become fulfilled and truly happy with our lives.

As many preschools do, every year we make sure we set aside a special day when the yayas can relax, enjoy and be reminded of how special they are.  Parents and students shared words of affirmation, gratitude and love for each yaya.  It was very touching to hear children say “thank you for taking care of me” to their yayas, that it brought tears to their eyes.

They then played games, as the theme for this year was “Yayalympics”.  It was physically challenging but they were up for it.  They also enjoyed a feast that their employers generously prepared for them.

Yayas enjoying their feast

Sack Race

Kadang Kadang

Yayas who have become friends

Winners of the Kadang Kadang

Kinder students assist Teacher Yeng in organizing the games

Egg throwing game

It was a great way to remind them that they are special, that they are loved and that they are greatly appreciated.  At the end of my talk, I told them that just as we so often remind our students, they too must go and “Let Your Light Shine!”.

(Published for Breathing Gratitude, Sun Star Lifestyle Section, August 7, 2014)

The Beautiful Gift of Breastfeeding

WHEN my children were much younger, one of the things that I really enjoyed about motherhood was breastfeeding.  It is a special kind of emotional activity that cements a mother and child relationship right from the very start.  It creates a special kind of attachment that makes the two inseparable. 

My Happy, Healthy, Breastfed Babies

During that time, I made it my main preoccupation.  I was at their disposal 24/7.  I breastfed every three hours and I stored excess milk for times when I needed to be away.  I was obsessive compulsive about my milk storage.  I placed them on little plastic containers that had dates on them.  First In First Out was the rule. 

There was even a time when my stored milk supply was filling up our freezer that I was able to donate breast milk through a breastfeeding advocate who hooked up mommies who had excess milk supply with mommies of babies who were sick and could not breastfeed for some reason.  My milk went to a baby boy with congenital heart disease.  Sadly, he didn’t make it and eventually went to heaven, God bless him.

Breastfeeding meant bringing my children wherever I went.  For me, this was the fun part!  They got to travel, run errands and do grocery with me.  This may be a hassle for some, but since I’m the kind of person who likes having loved ones nearby, I enjoyed it!  I had my trusty baby sling and it was strike anywhere for us. 

At first it was awkward having people stare at you but eventually I didn’t care. My baby was hungry and we had to do what was necessary at that moment.  It also helps a lot that many of the malls now have breastfeeding rooms where moms could breastfeed comfortably.

These are all just MY emotional benefits of breastfeeding as a mother.  For the child, I feel that they become a more secure and confident individual. 

There’s also the invaluable health benefit of building in them a strong immune system.  I notice that my second child who breastfed much longer, is less likely to catch a virus as compared to all of us in the household.

To celebrate the beautiful gift of breastfeeding during this National Breastfeeding Awareness Month of August, the Bacolod Mom & Baby Club (BMBC) and the Institute for Negros Development (IND) has organized a half-day breastfeeding activity called Hakab Na Bacolod 2014.  This will be on Saturday, August 2, 2014 from 9:00 AM to 11:00 AM at the Santuario de la Salle.  The event seeks to promote the importance of providing proper support to all breastfeeding Filipino mothers and families.

This will be held in coordination with the Big Latch On – an annual breastfeeding event where moms gather at registered locations around the world and latch on simultaneously at 10:30 AM.  Last year, there were 14,536 mothers at 845 different locations in 28 countries all over the world.

BMBC Founding Members (Photo Credits: Jireh Poquita)

Breastfeeding moms gathered at Aristocrat, Manila in 2013
(Photo Credits: Keysi Nunez)

Moms and Babies of Cagayan de Oro,
organized by Mommy Bright Side (Photo Credits: Meg Gabe) 

This year, they plan to beat the numbers as the event will be participated in and represented by Bacolod, Manila, Cebu, Davao, Cagayan de Oro and Iloilo. 

Here, moms will get to meet and interact with other breastfeeding moms.  There will be various activities and it will be a fun event for the whole family! 

The good news is, registration for this event is free!  All they have to do is text the following information to 0922-4846708: Mothers name, Child’s name and age, mobile number and email address.  Participants may also check updates posted on BMBC’s Facebook page:http://www.facebook.com/bacolodmomandbabyclub.

(Published for Breathing Gratitude, Sun Star Lifestyle Section on July 31, 2014)

The Power of Gratitude

I DON’T KNOW how I began to gravitate towards gratitude these recent years.  Maybe I picked it up from the seminars and books that I have read, and in all of that I somehow came to believe that having a grateful disposition is the key to happiness in life.

My favorite video that I used to watch with my kids a lot when they were much younger was a VeggieTales episode entitled “Madame Blueberry” and the lesson was on thankfulness.  She was a sad blueberry who acquired an excess of material things yet had emptiness within.  She later on learned from Junior the Asparagus how one could find true happiness just by being thankful and content with what he has.  The theme song of that episode “because a thankful heart is a happy heart…” was forever ingrained in me.

VeggieTales Madame Blueberry Video

Gratitude resonated with me so much that it became my guide, so much so that I coined the phrase “Breathing Gratitude” and made it the name for my blog and my column in Sun Star.

Breathing gratitude is still a work in progress for me.  It is a deliberate practice for me as I still catch myself complaining, worrying and grumbling sometimes.  But when I do, I try to immediately snap out of it, take a deep breath and utter a “thank you” even in difficult situations.  That simple practice instantly makes my mood much lighter.

Another practice that I have always attempted to do was to keep a “blessings notebook”.  This is the practice of writing down blessings or things that I am thankful for everyday.  I’ve started doing this a few times but doing this consistently is always a challenge especially when my days get busy.  This is such a powerful practice in increasing gratitude.

Recently I learned another strategy that could further deepen gratitude.  As I write the things that I am thankful for I also write my reasons behind it.  This makes me even more grateful for each blessing as I realize how my life would be so different without it.

I'm an introvert and I love getting lost in the beauty of Nature

Things that we normally take for granted such as our eyes, will totally change our lives if we didn’t have them.   Can you imagine how difficult life would be without legs?  Think of how unhealthy we will be without exercise, or how inconvenient it would be just to go to the bathroom or take a bath.

Good Health is a wonderful gift that is most often taken for granted

Think of how one family would give anything for a healthy heart to save one member of their family.  Many times we take our fully functioning organs for granted, not remembering that without any of these, life would be oh so difficult. 

Many times we take the people around us for granted until we lose them.  Sadly, that is when we realize how much we should have expressed our love for them.

The list goes on and on from health, to relationships, to blessings of provision, to nature, to spirituality, among many others.  The list is endless as there are just too many things that we could and should be thankful for.

Looking back now I realize that my level of contentment and happiness has dramatically increased since I began practicing breathing gratitude.  This happened even if the circumstances of my life hasn’t changed. 

Teaching is a blessing that is close to my heart

Life still throws challenges and stumbling blocks at me but having a positive outlook and a grateful disposition makes things a lot lighter.  It is my desire to share the power of gratitude, which I know will bring much joy and meaning in your life as well.

RELATIONSHIPS is what I am most grateful for,
especially the gift of my children.

(Published for Breathing Gratitude, Sun Star Lifestyle Section on July 24, 2014)

Celebrating Friendship in Style

EVEN the humblest, simplest and most modest woman will agree with me when I say that looking good is important in being confident as a woman.  It’s not the only thing that will make one shine in her giftedness, but it does play a role in empowering women.  Looking good doesn’t mean one needs to wear the most expensive and well-known brands.  All it takes is wearing good quality pieces that are suitable to one’s body type and personal style.

There are many brands out there for us to choose from but it is rare to find a local brand that is up to par with international brands.  So I was delighted when Olivia opened in Bacolod because this is exactly what it is.  A local brand that has set international-quality standards in clothing! It is a brand that believes a woman must look good and be comfortable in whatever occasion – whether at the beach, at the mall or at a wedding.

Last Saturday, Olivia launched its new campaign “Olivia Celebrate Friendship” at the District, Ayala North Point.  The campaign is all about highlighting the gift of friendship and how it is timeless, fun and free, just like Olivia. 

OLIVIA Managing Director, Antoinette Lacson

Friendship plays a great role in a woman’s life.  When she is down, she needs her friends to confide in and cheer her up.  When she is happy, she needs them to share her joy with.  So in every phase of a woman’s life, from her childhood, in her teens, or even in motherhood, her friends are faithfully allies.

Duo Category 1st Place Winner Michelle Benedicto

Group Category 2nd Place Winner Anna Escalante

This is evident in the 300 plus entries that were sent in Olivia’s Celebrate Friendship Photo Contest, where women uploaded photos of their favorite bonding moments with their friends on Facebook and Instagram.  There were funny photos of friends that go way back from childhood, moving photos of mother and daughter who consider each other as best friends, and friends who have nothing but crazy fun at the beach. 

Duo Category 2nd Place Winner Toni Diente

Duo Category 3rd Place Winner Arianna Marie Condo

Together with the launch of the new campaign was the launch of its new collection.  One thing that I really love about Olivia is the choice of fabrics.  They use soft and comfortable fabric, yet the prints and colors are visually pleasing to the eye.  For this collection, there are a lot of shades of lilacs, blues and greens.

OLIVIA Brand Ambassadors Antoinette Lacson, Anya Gamboa,
Martina Quirino, Jennie Garcia and Pam Jalandoni

The 2^nd to 6^th place winners of the Duo and Group Category of the photo contest won fabulous gift bags from Olivia.  While the 1^st place winners of the Duo and Group Categories won P25,000 and P40,000 respectively, worth of shopping spree at Olivia.  These prizes are such a treat to these women who joined in celebrating their friendships with Olivia.

Group Category 1st Place Winners
claiming their prize

Group Category 1st Place Winner Jumpee Tipon

Finding beautiful, good quality clothes that make us look great is one of women’s simple joys, and one can find these at Olivia.  Other brands that the stores carry are Havaianas, Bensimon, Thread 365, Seychelles, Dupe and Praiaz.  Olivia branches are at the District, Ayala North Point, 2^nd Floor Robinson’s Place Bacolod and Ground Floor, Balay Quince.

(Published for Breathing Gratitude, Sun Star Lifestyle Section on July 10, 2014)

The Importance of Time In

The sound of children wailing, crying, and whining is a common thing you will hear in preschools in the beginning of the school year. From the security of their own homes, they are challenged to step out of their comfort zones and be under the authority and care of people who are strangers to them. School stress is said to be very common among children.

Similarly, older children experience school stress as they enter a new school year and anxiously discover their new environment. Having a new classroom, new teachers, new classmates, and sometimes, a new school, is quite a lot to handle for many. 

But after some time, children learn to adjust and adapt, just like adults do. As they begin to trust their teachers and get accustomed to the routine, they begin to realize that school isn’t so bad after all and it can actually be really fun.  This process may be simple and easy for some. But for others, it may take a lot more time, effort and emotional stress, not only on the child, but even more so on the parents.

First day of school stress (photo from www.nymetroparents.com)

You see, it’s not only the child who has to adjust, it’s also the parents who need to let go and to learn to entrust their precious children fully to the care of the teachers.  I’ve seen how difficult this could be for both children and parents, and it is my job as the teacher to help make this process a little bit easier.

I recently attended a talk titled “Sad, Mad, Glad: How Emotions Affect Children’s Behavior,” organized by the Philippine Mental Health Association as part of their 38^thanniversary celebration.  The talk was given by PMHA national president Dr. Cornelio Banaag Jr.

PMHA talk at the L' Fisher Hotel ballroom

It was a very informative and inspiring talk given to an audience of doctors, teachers, school administrators, parents and members of PMHA. Personally, I learned more about child development and how to help them with the difficulties they encounter.  But there was one statement that really struck me, which I really took to heart.

Dr. Cornelio Banaag Jr.

Dr. Banaag talked about how discipline is very important in helping children regulate their emotions. Self-regulation, or attaining EQ (emotional quotient or emotional intelligence), as we know in recent studies, is one of the most important life-skills that makes an individual successful and happy in life.  But the foundation of self-regulation is discipline, and to this, one of the things he said was…

“For TIME OUT to work, there must be a lot of TIME IN.” 

Most of us practice letting our children have “time out” whenever they misbehave.  Letting them sit on the “thinking chair” is the same principle, which allows them to calm down, take a breather and think about the misbehavior that just happened and how they can behave better next time.

But for these “time outs” to work and for discipline to be effective, Dr. Banaag emphasizes the importance of establishing a good relationship with the child first, or what he refers to as “time in.”

This also means that for a child to respect authority, he must first and foremost feel genuinely loved and cared for by the person in authority. Persons in authority need to give a lot of “time in,” so that when correction is necessary, he or she can be firm and yet be respected by the child.

As I was reminded about this, I immediately put it into practice in school the next day. And true enough, I was able to win a child over just by deciding to spend the morning with him. The child who was wailing for weeks, showing his protest in being separated from his parents, became securely independent in class that same morning… all because I gave some “time in.” 

My Co-Teacher Ria Corral and our
self-regulated students Maria and Gabby

So dear parents, remember to ask yourselves this question whenever you feel that your discipline strategies are not working: Have you invested a lot of time in?

On the other hand, some parents may have given a lot of time in, but are very loose in discipline.  Remember that our children also need firm but loving discipline. 

For our children to be happy, self-regulated and disciplined individuals, we need to give them the right balance of firm discipline with a lot of love.  And as they say, love is spelled T-I-M-E.*

Disciplined and Self-Regulated Children are happy children!
(photo from baronessco.tumblr.com)

(Published for Breathing Gratitude, Sun Star Bacolod Lifestyle Section on July 3, 2014)

The Power of a Mother's Love

Grief, denial, coping and acceptance— these are the emotional stages that parents of children with special needs go through, and she went through this painful process herself.

Anne Ramos-Rafanan gave birth to Josh, a perfectly healthy baby boy who met all the developmental milestones— until he was two years old.  So when Josh was diagnosed with autism after suffering from seizures, and changed behaviors, Anne was devastated.

She went through the whole painful process together with her husband.  It was unbearable but they decided to be proactive about it and do everything they can for Josh. 

It was from this pain that her passion for helping other children with special needs was born.

Jumpstart Intervention Center was established in 2009 to cater to the rising cases of autism and other special needs among children in Bacolod.  Since then, it has helped ease and enrich the lives of countless children and their families.

Today, Anne continues to passionately share what she knows about autism through her school and in every opportunity that she has.  She feels strongly about spreading awareness about autism, which is why last year, she organized the First Autism Awareness Fun Run. 

Anne with Zoot Mktg. Mgr. Marge Camacho, Race Organizer
Tricia Rodriguez and Event Organizer ZsaZsa Veloso

It was such a success that just last Sunday, we celebrated the Second Autism Awareness Fun Run at The District North Point mall in Talisay. The thrust of these events is to inform the public about how important early detection is in the successful management of autism. 

As Anne learned and is now sharing, autism in itself is not a tragedy.  What is tragic is the ignorance about this affliction and not giving these children the necessary treatment and care.  That is why she feels it is important for people to know how to detect autism as early as possible by watching out for these unusual behaviors among children: difficulty in communicating, no eye contact, lining up objects, difficulty in paying attention, repeating phrases or sentences again and again to calm themselves down, flapping their arms when they are happy, or hurting themselves when they’re frustrated.

Autism lasts throughout a person’s lifetime.  There is no cure, but treatment can help.  These include behavior and communication therapies and medicines to control the symptoms.

The fun run was well attended by groups of families, friends, co-workers and athletes who came to support the event.  There was a special category for the children with special needs who joined the 1K category.  I took my own children with me and we ran together with their cousins and friends.  It was a wonderful way for the community to get together to support the cause and the vision of Anne in spreading awareness about autism.

Papa Janno and I hosting the event, with Gabe
who won 5th place in the 10-13 years old, 1K Category

In spite of all the difficulties of running the school, what keeps Anne going are the smiles and the hugs that she gets from other special children, the light in the eyes of the parents after their special child says “I love you” for the first time and the tears in the parents’ eyes when the children say “Thank you.” 

But in the midst of Anne’s big contribution to our society—for all her hard work and sacrifices as well as her successes— is still her earnest desire and prayer to see Josh fully recovered.  As she places her hopes on this, she continues to be a tremendous blessing to many children and their families, and she continues to be an inspiration to many, including myself.

(Published for Breathing Gratitude, Sun Star Lifestyle Section on June 26, 2014)